(copied from a Parental Alienation Awareness Organization handout)
PARENTAL ALIENATION
Undermining and interfering with a normal child-parent bond.
Raising Awareness of Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting
Because most people do not know about PA until they experience it, the idea of Parental Alienation Awareness Organization was put forth to help raise awareness and provide education about this growing problem of mental and emotional child abuse.
Our goal is to educate the general public, schools, police, mental health counselors, religious leaders, as well as the perpetrators who may be unaware of the effect of alienating behaviors, and how these behaviors harm children. Our goal is education. We believe that with education comes understanding, and the will and power to stop the emotional and mental abuse of children.
HOW CAN YOU HELP A CHILD AND HIS/HER REJECTED PARENT?
If you are a teacher, counsellor, coach, clergyman, parent of the child’s friend, friend, or family member:
Listen to the child, without negating what the child is saying, regardless of how outlandish it may be (that is the child’s reality) and then encourage the child to hear the rejected parent’s point of view. Appeal to the child’s maturity by saying that is the way mature people handle conflicts.
Appeal to the child’s intellect by encouraging him/her to carefully consider ideas or statements that are blatantly false or outlandish.
Point out to the child how persuasive advertising can influence a person’s thinking and try to relate that to the child’s thinking about the rejected parent.
Look for books or movies that can stimulate discussion about the importance of two parents and the sadness of having only one parent.
Look for opportunities to provide positive input about the targeted parent.
To find out more about Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, see www.PAAwareness.org
The information provided in some of the series have been based in part on the following works:
Baker, A.J.L. (2007). Adult children of parental alienation syndrome: Break the ties that bind. NY:W.W.Norton
Clawar, S.S. & Rivlan, B. (1991). Children held hostage: Dealing with programmed and brainwashed children. Chicago, IL:American Bar Association.
Darnall, D. (1998). Divorce Casualties: Protecting your children from parental alienation. Lanham, MI:Taylor Trade.
Rand, D., Rand, R., & Kopetski, L. (2005). The Spectrum of Parental Alienation Syndrome Part 111: The Kopetski Follow-up Study. American Journal of Forensic Psychology, 23(1), 15-43.
Warshak, R. (2001). Divorce Poison: Protecting the parent-child bond from a vindictive ex. NY:HarperCollins.
Too bad most courts don't recognize PAS...
ReplyDeleteMore and more are, but that is why we have conferences like the one I was invited to attend and the group I mentioned in the article, the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, which can be seen at www.PAAwareness.org
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, changes the wheels (in courts or governments) takes a long time.
I have helped other families dealing with reunification with success although many, many situations have gone on too long before someone with knowledge has attempted to help... and were not able to. For those people, like you Randy, I can only repeat myself by saying, "Hang in there. Do not ever give up on your child... or your relationship with him/her."
note: I think Montreal, Quebec, where I am from, is a bit more advanced in recognizing this awful (epidemic?) situation... but my next blog in this series offers names of the giant leaders in this issue, so be sure to come back for that one.
And, spread the word by sharing this series with others to break the silence!