Family Reconstruction coaching is available!

Sharon Shenker, Marriage-Divoce Coach After many years of working with children and their parents, Sharon founded Divorce Support Plus to help prevent family breakdowns or guide all the family members through and beyond a separation or divorce so that their family reconstruction does not cause any family member destruction. For further information, phone: 514.804.3585 or email Sharon directly at sharonshenker@gmail.com After an absence of eight years, due to health issues, I am returning to work. If you are considering or going through a separation or divorce, with or without children, and you want to make one last effort to save the relationship, or if it is clearly over and you want some professional help getting through this difficult time, with the help of someone who has been there and has the training, education and expertise at coaching people in your position, contact me.

www.divorcesupportplus.ca

Sharon Shenker, Marriage-Divorce Coach After many years of working with children and their families, Sharon founded Divorce Support Plus in 1999 to help couples prevent family breakdowns by reconnecting lovingly or else she assisted them through and beyond their separation or divorce. Family Reconstruction, not destruction! Unfortunately, due to health issues, Divorce Support Plus closed its doors, but NOW Sharon is back to working part-time, from her apartment in the Montreal - West Island area. For further information, phone 514-804-3585 or email her directly at sharonshenker@gmail.com (The websites are down but Sharon can now be found here or on facebook.)

Grey divorces: Long-married boomers cut the knot

I think I have written about grey divorces somewhere, or was interviewed about them.... anyways here is a good article with the same findings as I had reported.

Grey divorces: Long-married boomers cut the knot

Family Wellness Special

Announcement:

My Family Wellness Special is turning back the clock for individuals, couples or families who want my specializied help to stay together, reconstruct without destruction, or to reconnect after an absence....

My goal has always been to help other families stay intact, healthier and happier than their own life skills and strategies were able to create for themselves.

Now, after years after knowing and saying that I would not have been able to afford my own rates, to receive the help my family needed, I am dropping my fees to enable more families to benefit from my specialized services. So... my rate is back down to only $60. an hour (plus $1. a minute for any telephone, skype or face-to-face time above the one hour a week. This offer is only available to those who work with me for a minimum of one hour a week.)

Contact me for more information or to set up an appointment at sharonshenker@gmail.com or my direct cell phone line at 514-804-3585

Appointments are available week days, evenings and weekends.

Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome speakers

PAS Q & A, Part Four, provides information on the speakers at the Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome and offer a list of books and websites for further information.

The Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome,
May 28th & 29th, 2011: SPEAKER PROFILES


William Bernet, M.D.
Keynote Presentation: The Differential Diagnosis of Contact Refusal
Dr Bernet explained the various causes of “contact refusal”, which is when a child of divorce resists interaction with one of the parents. He explained how important it is for anyone who works with a family experiencing this issue to understand the underlying reason for a child’s contact refusal in order to devise a treatment plan for that child and family. In 2007, Dr. Bernet and Judge Don R. Ash published Children of Divorce: A Practical Guide for Parents, Therapists, Attorneys, and Judges. Dr. Bernet published Parental Alienation, DSM-5, and ICD-11 : edited by William Bernet, M.D., with 70 contributing authors from 12 countries, published by Charles C Thomas, Publisher, Ltd., 2010. “Parental alienation is a mental condition in which a child – usually one whose parents are engaged in a high-conflict divorce – allies himself or herself with one parent (the preferred parent) and rejects a relationship with the other parent (the alienated parent) without legitimate justification.”

Douglas Darnall, Ph.D.
Presentation: The Psychosocial Treatment of Parental Alienation
Parental Alienation Disorder has been observed for years by parents, mental health professionals, attorneys, and the courts. The concept of it as “brainwashing” has grown in public awareness and has become controversial, yet with much being written now about how to identify it, little has been discussed about what occurs in therapy to unify the alienated families. Dr. Darnall’s presentation helped to close that gap by sharing the process of reunification, with a psychosocial and cognitive intervention. He is the author of Divorce Casualties: Understanding Parental Alienation (second edition) and Beyond Divorce Casualties: Reunifying the Alienated Family.

Terence W. Campbell, Ph.D.
Presentation: Reducing Parental Conflicts Between Divorced Spouses; Recommendations for Mild to Moderate Alienation
For more information on his work, see: www.campsych.com

Richard Sauber, Ph.D.
Presentation: Alienation, Estrangement and Bona Fide Abuse: The Differentiating Criteria for the Development of the Reunification Plan. His most recent book with Richard Gardner, M.D., and Demosthenes Lorandos, J.D., Ph.D. is entitled The International Handbook of PAS; Conceptual, Clinical and Legal Considerations (2006) and is now being written in its second edition with Demosthenes Lorandos, J.D., Ph.D., William Bernet, M.D. and S. Richard Sauber, Ph.D., entitled The Handbook of Parental Alienation for Mental Health and Legal Professionals.

Abraham Worenklein, Ph.D.
Presentation: Cutting the Suit to Fit the Alienated Child: Individualizing the Nature and Modalities of Intervention. As well as being a clinical and forensic psychologist in private practice in Montreal, for many years, he is also a professor at Dawson College and on the International Board of the American Journal of Family Therapy.

Glen Ross Caddy, Ph.D. , the Conference Moderator, is also a Clinical and Forensic Psychologist licensed in the State of Florida and in Australia.

Joseph Goldberg, is the Founder of the Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome.

Sharon Shenker, is the Founder of Divorce Support Plus, author of My Family Has Two Houses (workshop in a workbook), and LifeCoach who has helped hundreds of couples and families to either remain together because their relationship is better than it was with their own old relationship skills, and she has also helped hundreds more go through a family reconstruction with as little damage and baggage as possible – reconstructing the family rather than destructing lives. As a Family Life Educator, trained and qualified in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the Satir Family Therapy and Reunification Therapy models, she is The Coach to go to if you want your relationships to thrive!

Aside from the speakers at the symposium, I would also like to mention Dr. Richard A Warshak, author of Divorce Poison, who has posted information about a survey that was recently released showing a “near unanimous agreement among professionals that children can be manipulated by one parent to turn against the other parent. The survey was taken at the annual International Conference of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts. Approximately 1000 legal and mental health professionals attended a debate about whether parental alienation should be included in the future edition of the manual of official psychiatric diagnoses, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association – Fifth Edition, commonly known as the DSM-5. About 300 people responded to the survey with nearly every respondent, 98%, responding ‘Yes’ to the question: “Do you think that some children are manipulated by one parent to irrationally and unjustifiably reject the other parent?”

So, despite contrasting opinions on the issue of whether the DSM-5 should include parental alienation, the debate panel agreed: “The survey results were overwhelming in support of the basic tenet of parental alienation: children can be manipulated by one parent to reject the other parent who does not deserve to be rejected.”

The roots of alienation differ among children. Any child who refuses to see one of their parents can be doing so for many, many different reasons, and it truly must be looked into for the sake of the child, the parent and the whole family system, including the aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents who are also so often devastated by the loss of contact with their loved ones.

Do you believe there are some cases in which a rejected parent’s behavior has contributed to the child’s rejection?

How often do you believe a parent has done nothing to warrant losing contact with their child?


If you are struggling through PAS, PA, or Estrangement, please remember these words by Winston Churchill:
"Never, never, never, never give up.”


Sharon Shenker, Family Life Coach
For further information, phone: 514.804.3585 or sharonshenker@gmail.com

Help is Available

Sharon Shenker - Matrimonial/Divorce Coach

Offering world-wide specialized help!
Online/Phone/Face-to-Face

I am dedicated to helping prevent family breakdowns, but when I can’t accomplish that I will help my client(s) maneuver through, adjust to, heal from, and thrive despite their separation or divorce… with as little damage or baggage as possible.

The services I offer, are:
*personal growth & development
*premarital preparation
*relationship enhancement
*divorce prevention
*separation, divorce coaching
*creating co-parenting plans
*co-operative parenting
*recovery/moving on
*single parenting
*dating again, trust issues
*premarital preparation
*blending families

Degrees and Qualifications:
E.C.E.: Early Childhood Eduacator
F.L.E.: Family Life Educator
B.A.: Human Relations (Honors)
M.B.T.I.: Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Consultant
C.V.B.C.: Certified Vision Board Coach
Satir Family Therapy
Reunification Therapy
... and Qualified Ceramics Teacher


Because of verbal and emotional abuse and escalating violence,I had to get a divorce many (many!) years ago, when I was 27, and my daughters had just turned two and four years old. After a few years, their father stopped seeing them so I raised them on own, even while going to university. One of them became a paralegal for a family law firm and the other a Youth Worker, working with children in group homes. Since then, my older daughter married, stopped working as a paralegal, and is now a stay-at-home Mom, raising my adorable grandson... thanks to her great husband!

I believe in families sticking together when they can, with each person equally empowered and emotionally well-adjusted – so that they can independently and interdependently become the best that they can be! I also believe that when two people have tried everything possible to improve their relationship connection but one still wants to leave, they must do so in a manner that does not hurt any children involved.

Since opening Divorce Support Plus, in 1999, I have proudly saved many marriages and prevented even more wars!

My motto is “family reconstruction not family destruction!”

My passion is to save and repair relationships by helping couples rekindle their love connection, but if that isn’t possible, I work with as many members of the family as is possible to prevent or end the wars that so commonly destroy families of separation or divorce. My goal is to assist each member of every family that comes to me to heal, grow, and thrive thereby preventing parental alienation... but if a family comes to me after P.A. has begun I can work with the family to build a healthy co-parenting relationship and rebuild the parent-child relationship. I am even training in Reunification Therapy to help a family that is suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome.

On a lighter note, if the family is uncomfortable with sitting and talking about their feelings, needs and wants... I also do Play 'n Talk sessions that involve the family/couple/parent-child in creative play activities while chatting with me and among themselves. It is so much lighter and more fun!!



You can view my websites at
www.lovingtherightways.com
www.divorcesupportplus.ca

Or telephone me directly at 514-804-3585

Parental Alienation Syndrome, Part Three

PAS Q & A, Part Three
(copied from a Parental Alienation Awareness Organization handout)

PARENTAL ALIENATION
Undermining and interfering with a normal child-parent bond.

Raising Awareness of Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting



Because most people do not know about PA until they experience it, the idea of Parental Alienation Awareness Organization was put forth to help raise awareness and provide education about this growing problem of mental and emotional child abuse.
Our goal is to educate the general public, schools, police, mental health counselors, religious leaders, as well as the perpetrators who may be unaware of the effect of alienating behaviors, and how these behaviors harm children. Our goal is education. We believe that with education comes understanding, and the will and power to stop the emotional and mental abuse of children.

HOW CAN YOU HELP A CHILD AND HIS/HER REJECTED PARENT?

If you are a teacher, counsellor, coach, clergyman, parent of the child’s friend, friend, or family member:

 Listen to the child, without negating what the child is saying, regardless of how outlandish it may be (that is the child’s reality) and then encourage the child to hear the rejected parent’s point of view. Appeal to the child’s maturity by saying that is the way mature people handle conflicts.
 Appeal to the child’s intellect by encouraging him/her to carefully consider ideas or statements that are blatantly false or outlandish.
 Point out to the child how persuasive advertising can influence a person’s thinking and try to relate that to the child’s thinking about the rejected parent.
 Look for books or movies that can stimulate discussion about the importance of two parents and the sadness of having only one parent.
 Look for opportunities to provide positive input about the targeted parent.

To find out more about Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, see www.PAAwareness.org

The information provided in some of the series have been based in part on the following works:

Baker, A.J.L. (2007). Adult children of parental alienation syndrome: Break the ties that bind. NY:W.W.Norton

Clawar, S.S. & Rivlan, B. (1991). Children held hostage: Dealing with programmed and brainwashed children. Chicago, IL:American Bar Association.

Darnall, D. (1998). Divorce Casualties: Protecting your children from parental alienation. Lanham, MI:Taylor Trade.

Rand, D., Rand, R., & Kopetski, L. (2005). The Spectrum of Parental Alienation Syndrome Part 111: The Kopetski Follow-up Study. American Journal of Forensic Psychology, 23(1), 15-43.

Warshak, R. (2001). Divorce Poison: Protecting the parent-child bond from a vindictive ex. NY:HarperCollins.